I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
you never un-have a 4some
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize