I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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