But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
