Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my shit smells like andre
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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