i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
