I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
