Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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