I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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