No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize