careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
