Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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