My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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