areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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