Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
