oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
