ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
