"it" just moved
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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