Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
