We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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