Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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