Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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