so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just high enough for therapy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
