Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
