I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
