Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

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(417): View more from Missouri

i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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(509): View more from Washington

Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Dibsssss

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out

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(077): View more from

I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night

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(425): View more from Washington

Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.

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