just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
