Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed

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(303): View more from Colorado

why im i the only drunk person in the library?

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(330): View more from Ohio

did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..

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(909): View more from California

I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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(407): View more from Florida

Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk

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(410): View more from Maryland

Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

ummmm thanks

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