I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize