glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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