Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
