Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have post one night stand depression
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