What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
