Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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