I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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