i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize