Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
