Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
