She said her name was "party"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
