Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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