Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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