Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
