I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
