I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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