Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
