I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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