I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
