I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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