Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
