I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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