Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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