I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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