i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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