He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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