apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
