fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize