I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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