Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
