He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
