she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
