We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize